I Failed... Now I Choose.

So sorry for the Hiatus I've been working 70-80 hrs and my time has been filled with work food and sleep in that order... but im in a venting mood, and feel free to comment your thoughts after. so me and my girl in NY My love, my heart, my life; haven't been talking for a while cause of some events that she will appreciate not putting out there. and now im entertaining another girl at my job and the other girl has real feelings towards me and  she has no idea that i don't see her like that at all. If ii tell my girl she may or may not feel betrayed and if she does I've lost her, and if i tell the other girl the truth i will crush her and 1 shes a coworker and also she reminds me of myself when i was just out of high school. Happy go lucky, flirty, boisterous nature, loving hard every single time cause your just that full and then I come along and destroy her trust, her friendship, make her skeptic to no end of anyone she ever meets. I would be creating another Me and that cycle continues, don't think its a joke, I thought that and now without even realizing it I've turned into the one type of person that I've hated for the better part of my life... A Jerk!

So now im at a Crossroads where my choices will dictate two separate reactions that will each have a lasting effect on all parties. Do i Crush this poor girls expectancy of what dating life is for the foreseeable future; or do i tell the true love of my life her and her two children that I've basically messed around on her even though we were taking a breath apart.... My brain is wracking and my chest is sinking, i feel like im 15 again having my first crush and having her hand you a note saying "I Like You :)"! I've never been so hurt in a decision in my life, because i broke my most sacred rule of staying 100% faithful with the one you have, do not mess or entertain another; now i must choose the ultimate punishment of whose life to wreck.

Take a word of caution, Karma is real. some is slow and somewhat unbecoming, or it can be instantaneous and swallow you up immediately.

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